“Lower a bucket into a well of self-deception, and what comes up must be immortal truth, mustn’t it?” — Charles Reade, The Cloister and the Hearth
Conversations Resumed
Calling a bluff I did not make, she continues to provoke. “Do you talk to your son about your sexual exploits?”
I don’t flinch. “He talks to me about his …” They are his attempts at male bonding. Claims to manhood. He has made jokes about his need for the paternal role model. I fight my discomfort. I sanitize. He is trying to imitate a benevolent rogue.
“My father was a character, not in the good sense and …” He over-shared. Proud of things most people try to hide.
“My father thinks I’m still a virgin.” I wonder what she is reading into my ellipses. I laugh with her and let the conversation lapse into polite silence.
**********
“Maybe the closest aliens are too far away.” We are spending the day together. Our on and off discussion of the Fermi Paradox, like commercial breaks, filling the gaps between activities. “And we can only see their worlds before they’ve evolved.”
The face of the guy sitting at the table next to ours changes from bored to thoughtful. Waiting for his food to arrive, he is borrowing our conversation to pass the time.
The difference with 3 AM drunken conversations is that we are lucid enough not take our musings seriously.
**********
I find the video to a song I had mentioned. I click on share.
Quote of the Day
“Did anyone ever have a boring dream?” — Ralph Hodgson, “Flying Scrolls,” The Skylark: and Other Poems
Spray at High Noon
October 16, 2016
rue du Cherche-Midi,
Paris 6ème
Quote of the Day
“Let’s understand that things are thieves of time because the more things you have, the more time you have to spend working to pay for them, the more your life is chained to a rhythm of perpetual purchase.” — Paul Hawken, The 11th Hour
Quote of the Day
“It is fashionable to speak of political leaders in terms of their charisma. But charisma without substance is a dangerous thing. It creates expectations that cannot be satisfied.” — Kim Campbell, Candidate Speeches, Social Credit Leadership Convention (1986-07-29)
I Sit On An Omar Khayyam Rock
Solipsism: Extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one’s feelings, desires, opinions, etc.
I still do not know what I want this blog to be. I do know I avoid solipsistic posts.
When I’m sick I indulge in long hot baths. They help break my fever and decongest. Or so I believe.
I see Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, two-thirds read, on the shelf. It is the only book I am willing to steam.
Am I in the right frame of mind? Or am I in the right part of the book? I don’t look for an answer. I read on wishing I had grabbed a pencil.
Energy, enthusiasm, gumption. Ego depletion is in the news (for those that follow these things). Attempts to reproduce the results proving the theory are failing. I claim to be unsurprised – they’re over thinking it – you work, you get tired, you rest and you’re ready for another go round.
Pirsig has pages on energy drainers. These are every day things. No tests required, I’ve experienced them.
There is the re-do. You finish, only to realize it’s all wrong and you have to go back to the beginning.
There is the search for the once-in-a-blue-moon problem, knowing it takes a lot of attempts to find the problem. Correlation does not equal causation but they are the only clues you have.
There is the frustration of the parts trap, of ego traps, and of impatience.
Motorcycle maintenance as a metaphor with a little explicit Zen. I see the book’s title in the text. I’m in the right part of the book.
Or maybe I’m in the right frame of mind to see it.
