“If I had done this, if I had said that, in the end you are always more tormented by what you didn’t do than what you did, actions already performed can always be rationalized in time, the neglected deed might have changed the world.” — Damon Galgut, In a Strange Room
Dub FX‘s Made is catchy beats and a good start to any day. A story of perseverance and the creation a self-fulfilling vision of a future with no regrets. All summed up in the chorus:
“I ain’t gonna spend my time wondering why I never made it
I’ve already made it”
It’s almost impossible to have a bad day after listening to this.
“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” — Charles Dickens, Sketches by Boz
“Remorse: regret that one waited so long to do it.” — H. L. Mencken, A Little Book in C Major
“Ask for forgiveness, not permission” is a dangerous motivational cliché. It is meant to address anxiety and the waiting for permission before acting. The problem is that the underlying message is that the end justifies the means and asking for forgiveness will absolve you of the crimes committed getting there.
Take this to the extreme and you have: “I wanted to be CEO and I was next in-line, so I killed him. It’s okay though, I asked his widow for forgiveness.”
The problem is waiting for permission. My grandfather had a much more acceptable saying: “If getting a ‘no’ for an answer is not a problem, then why be afraid to ask the question.” His version of “what’s the worst that can happen?” I think this is healthier than the asking for forgiveness model. It makes you look if the action is permissible and if is forgivable. It makes you look at what you are afraid of and, from what I have read, one of the better ways to combat anxiety is to examine what you are afraid of.
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