“Some people claim that they can do with four hours’ sleep, without explaining what they mean by “do with.” Do what with? I can do all kinds of things with fifteen minutes’ sleep, including gagging, snorting and getting my head caught between the couch and the wall, but don’t boast about it.” — Robert Benchley, “Do We Sleep Enough?,” My Ten Years in a Quandary, and How They Grew
“There is no one so unfeeling as a hostess who is set on having the young folks enjoy themselves.” — Robert Benchley, “Let’s Not Dance This!,” My Ten Years in a Quandary, and How They Grew
“It is probably this naive surprise at things that keeps us going. If we took it for granted that the ancient Egyptians could draw a goose accurately, or that Eskimos could sing bass, or that Grandpa should be interested in everything at eighty-two, there wouldn’t be anything for us to hang our own superiority on.” — Robert Benchley, “Isn’t It Remarkable?,” My Ten Years in a Quandary, and How They Grew
“I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists.” — Robert Benchley, “Rule of Thumb,” My Ten Years in a Quandary, and How They Grew
“Anything can happen, but it usually doesn’t.” — Robert Benchley, My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew
“Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.” — Robert Benchley, My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew
“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.” — Robert Benchley, “Quick Quotations” in My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew
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