“What dooms our best efforts to cultivate empathy and compassion is always, of course, other people.” — Tim Kreider, We Learn Nothing
Tag: empathy
Quote of the Day
“’When it comes to understanding others,’ I said, ‘we rarely tax our imaginations.’” — Lawrence Hill, Someone Knows My Name
Quote of the Day
“Those who would make us feel, must feel themselves.” — Charles Churchill, The Rosciad
From My Notebook – Page 25
Scott H. Young’s First Rule To Understanding People
from The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People
Rule One: Never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit. i.e. Remember the spotlight effect and avoid the fundamental attribution error.
People don’t care about you as much as you think they do; They are mostly focused on themselves.
e.g. 60% of thoughts are self-directed; my goals, problems, feelings.
30% on relationships; what people think of me, how they have or will act towards me.
10% on empathy; split between everyone.
What does this mean?
- Embarrassment is senseless. Self-judgement is disproportionate since people only spend a minuscule portion of their thoughts on you.
- People are rarely malicious.
- Relationships are yours to manage. Don’t wait for others to call.
Related:
The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People (scotthyoung.com)
Spotlight effect (wikipedia.org)
How Could They Not Notice
Fundamental attribution error (wikipedia.org)
From My Notebook – Page 14 [Criticism (Receiving) and Attitude]
Quote of the Day
“To see ourselves as others see us is a most salutary gift. Hardly less important is the capacity to see others as they see themselves.” — Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception
Quote of the Day
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” — Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
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