“Nobody is forgotten, when it is convenient to remember him.”– Benjamin Disraeli, Letter to Lord Stanhope (17 July 1870)
“To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology.” — Mark Twain
“I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m so indebted to her for.” — W. C. Fields
‘Of course I won’t laugh, said the nurse. I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.’
‘Okay then, said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ‘man thingy’ the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it …couldn’t have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing.
Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.
‘I am so sorry,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won’t happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?’
‘It’s swollen,’ Fred replied.
She ran out of the room