Scott H. Young’s First Rule To Understanding People
from The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People
Rule One: Never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit. i.e. Remember the spotlight effect and avoid the fundamental attribution error.
People don’t care about you as much as you think they do; They are mostly focused on themselves.
e.g. 60% of thoughts are self-directed; my goals, problems, feelings.
30% on relationships; what people think of me, how they have or will act towards me.
10% on empathy; split between everyone.
What does this mean?
- Embarrassment is senseless. Self-judgement is disproportionate since people only spend a miniscule portion of their thoughts on you.
- People are rarely malicous.
- Relationships are yours to manage. Don’t wait for others to call.