How To Empty A Restaurant in 2 Minutes and 40 Seconds

I was in Suzhou, China. It was 1996 and there were few foreigners around. We (an Englishman, a local girl, my girlfriend and myself) were finishing up our meal and the staff wanted to show off their karaoke setup.

The waiter asked if we wanted to sing and we politely declined. He told us they had some songs in English and started flipping through the song book to find them. I commented that I did not know how to sing the songs in their catalogue and my girlfriend told me that with the effort they were making, we should at least sing a few songs or risk insulting them. As I joked that my voice could end up chasing all the remaining customers from the restaurant, the waiter handed me the microphone with the first song queued up. It was Only You.

2 Minutes and 40 Seconds later, still laughing at my interpretation of the song, I saw guests leaving. A quick look around the room told me that these were the last guests. My prophecy had come true and we celebrated by rewarding the staff with a few more performances.

2 thoughts on “How To Empty A Restaurant in 2 Minutes and 40 Seconds”

  1. Why I’m still laughing is your girlfriend being so nice encouragaing y’all that a few songs should be sung because of their efforts. That’s sweet and funny and paintws a funny picture. And then of course not being able to get y’all off the stage! 🙂

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